My Black Jesus

Somewhere out in this world there is a black man close to my age who went to a Christian school in the Deep South, the same school as me. It wasn't a big school, maybe 300 students, but we were all very white except for two of us. I try to imagine what that must have been like for them, but I get so scared. Sure, there was racism everywhere, but you wouldn't think so at a Christian school, but it was worse. It was that snot-colored worm in that pretty red apple.

I was doing something stupid on the metal playground death traps and I fell, knocking the wind out of myself and laying splayed out on the dirt. The place was all ate up with white kids, but the only person who came to help me was the black boy.

Forever in my life he has made a difference. He took care of me when nobody else did and I have never forgotten him. He has been my shield and compass when racism belched out invitations at me.

Today, he is what I am most thankful for in my life.

My Kindergarden Song: Polly the Polliwog

Polly the polliwog, said to Papa Frog,
"What shall I do?
I can swim like a whale when I wiggle my tale,
but I want to jump like you."

"You're just a polliwog," said the Papa Frog,
"but wait and see, you can swim like a whale
when you wiggle your tale, but soon you will jump like me."

Polly the polliwog waited,
her eyes got big and round,
she grew four legs, lost her tail,
and her tail has never been found,
do do do do do...

Now she's a happy frog, sittin' on a log,
where froggies play, father says, "Chug-er-ump!"
And she takes a big jump, her wiggle has gone away!

A Poem: Growing Orbits

I live my life in growing orbits
which move out over the things of the world.
perhaps I can never achieve the last,
but that will be my attempt.

I am circling around God, around the ancient tower,
and I have been circling for a thousand years,
and I still don't know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
or a great song.

Rilke, 1899

Sometimes I forget what I'm made of...this poem reminds me.